Inspirational Pet Peeves

My first year of teaching was ROUGH. I don’t think I have enough disparaging adjectives to describe how horrible that year was. Mostly that could be because I think that I have blocked most of it out due to PTSD of some severe sort.

The one thing that I always turn to in times of need is books so I can enter a different reality for an indefinite period of time. During that first year of horribleness I scoured Amazon.com and local book stores for books written by teachers who were having the same experiences as me. The only things that I found were the standard “inspirational” teacher stories, the inspirational quote a day books, or the instructional how to books on how to BECOME an inspirational teacher. I also learned that most of these teacher books were geared toward the apple sweater wearers (Elementary school teachers). This really ticked me off so I began finding that my only outlet was writing my own stories down or creating my own curriculum.

Eventually, teaching became more manageable and easier to handle, but I still never find inspirational moments in the whole endeavor. Success? Sure. Pride? Definitely. Joy? Debatable. Does all that inspire me to write inspiration fluff? Yea…um….no.

All my friends know my stance on inspirational stories. One day I was checking my Facebook when my friend sent me this little gem:

Mskcpotter do you need this inspiring read for the upcoming school year?
(Picture above on the left)

I laughed at it hysterically and then did some research on it. It turns out that this is the book that inspired the movie “Dangerous Minds.” Upgrade to whoever had the brains to change the title of the movie from the book title. Downgrade to whoever thought to name the original book “My POSSE Don’t Do Homework” with a heart drawn into it. Seriously.

These books and movies never display teaching the way it really is: a job that is drastically different and yet painfully the same every single day, even with a batch of new kids every year. A job that is so tiring you sometimes wish that you could just sleep on your desk rather than drive home. A job that you can’t just leave at school, when you finally drag yourself off your desk and go home for the night. A job that is NOT as easy as walking into the classroom and using double negatives and slang like “Posse” “Yo” “Wassup” and you have the gang member students from the street on your side and reading Shakespeare like these inspirational movies and books portray.

I feel like stories and movies like these are akin to the Army recruiting posters that make it look like a picnic in the countryside, bonding around the fire with harmonicas and laughing and sing-a-longs. It is not a fair and accurate representation of what the true participants are going through.

It’s about time that teachers are represented fairly.

If anyone out there knows of something that shows teaching in a more realistic light let me know! For now I am going to leave, “My Posse Don’t Do Homework <3 nbsp="" on="" p="" shelf="" the="">
That being said....

I don't mind humor filled inspiration.

This video has been making the rounds and I quite enjoy it!

What's in Your Top Five?

One of my many vices is finding new television series on Netflix and starting them from the beginning. I love getting completely encompassed in this brand new world, getting to know the new characters, and getting swept up in the plotlines. Each new show is like getting a fresh new batch of friends. No matter what is going terrible at work, or in my personal life, I know that I have at least one constant waiting at home for me.

This might make me crazy or make some people say that I have no life, well so be it. It’s my thing, I love it, deal with it.

The show that I am currently entangled in is “Lost.” In this show, a plane full of people crashes on a seemingly deserted island. The stranded passengers quickly realize that they are not alone on this island, but they are not sure who, or what, else is there with them. Many adventures and dangers ensue over the course of the show.

I was watching an episode one afternoon after returning home from a particularly trying day of work. In this particular episode one of the main characters, Charlie, thinks that he is going to die. He begins compiling a list of his top five favorite memories in his lifetime.

This, of course, made me start thinking about my own top five memories of my lifetime.

Eventually, this led to me thinking about my top five teaching memories!


5
In my third year of teaching I began to notice that a lot of my little girls were carrying around this book called “Twilight.” I asked them about it and they all raved that it was the best book “ever!” I finally broke down and decided to buy it to support the fact that they were finally reading. I began reading it one day while they were testing so that I could make sure that they could see that I was taking an interest in their interests. Nine pages later I was completely hooked. When work was over I drove to our local bookstore to look for the sequel to the book. They did not have the book which completely devastated me. I went into work the next day and spread the word that I was dying to read the next book in the series. By lunchtime two girls had called their mothers and had asked them to bring the book up to school for me.

4One of the things that I used to teach is a play version of “The Diary of Anne Frank.” I like teaching it because it is the one story that always completely enthralls each and every single one of my students. By the end of the unit almost every single one of my students had cried at one point. Now, I am not saying that this is one of my favorite memories because I made children cry (that’s only an added bonus!). It is one of my favorite memories because I am finally able to find something that actually breaks through that thick, “I’m an 8th grader, no one can touch me” persona. The students are learning how to identify and analyze literature without even realizing it because they are so wrapped up in the world of the horrors of the holocaust. It is pretty ironic when you think about it, but hey, whatever works right?

3In my third year of teaching I had the best of students and the worst of students. The best of students were so amazing they completely made up for the bad behavior of some of the others. In particular, I had a group of three girls that were so wonderful that I don’t think the experience will ever be able to be duplicated. They were sweet, smart, and strange (The best kind!) girls who were always eager to make your day better. They would stop by my room every morning to give me hugs before school started. They would add to the class discussions in intelligent ways and their enthusiasm was so infectious the other students in the class couldn’t help but catch the bug. I still look back on that year and those students almost daily and wish that, as teachers, we could choose to have the same students for our entire careers.

2One year we took the entire 8th grade on a field trip to the Richmond Capitol. We made it to the Capitol on time and all the students immediately broke down into their designated groups. While inside the Capitol building tourists repeatedly came up to me and asked me if I was the teacher of the students. I always responded a little apprehensively wondering what felony they were going to report to me. However, each time this occurred the adults just wanted to tell me how impressed they were with my students’ behavior and attentiveness. After the tour we took the students out on the Capitol’s lawn and the students were allowed to spread out across the lawn to have a picnic. I was amazed when almost all the students sat down together in one big group and shared food, stories, and laughter.

1
At the end of every school year the teachers at my school have a tradition of going outside to wave to the buses as they pull off for the last time of the year. The bus drivers honk their horns and the kids wave out of their windows as the teachers wave goodbye and good riddance from the sidewalk. It is the one time in every year that everyone is on the same page. Teachers, principals, students, bus drivers are all working together for a common goal... getting as far away from one another as possible for the next few months!

Be Careful What You Wish For...

I guess I did the snow dance a little too vigorously the other day because my wish came true....a little too well!

We got the day off today....HOWEVER.....I lost power last night around 9:30 and woke up to 2 downed power lines, three uprooted trees, and a partridge in a pear tree. 

There were power lines directly behind my car and in front of my car...I was trapped!

See the evidence from blurry camera phone below (I didn't want to get TOO close to the power lines as well)

It is a little hard to see but that is one of my downed power lines and a pesky broken branch in my driveway

Oh look, an uprooted tree than split in half!

Though you cannot see it in this picture, this tree is being held up only by a lone power line (But the other one was ripped right out and is laying in the grass/snow below

Due to the fact that I was without power and no heat, I read most of the day underneath blankets and animals to keep warm. 

I finished:

Amazon Summary:

It follows the story of Tim Macbeth, a seventeen-year-old albino and a recent transfer to the prestigious Irving School, where the motto is “Enter here to be and find a friend.” A friend is the last thing Tim expects or wants—he just hopes to get through his senior year unnoticed. Yet, despite his efforts to blend into the background, he finds himself falling for the quintessential “It” girl, Vanessa Sheller, girlfriend of Irving’s most popular boy. To Tim's surprise, Vanessa is into him, too, but she can kiss her social status goodbye if anyone ever finds out. Tim and Vanessa begin a clandestine romance, but looming over them is the Tragedy Paper, Irving’s version of a senior year thesis, assigned by the school’s least forgiving teacher

I really liked this book! I would recommend it if you are looking for a new read!

And then read:

Amazon Summary:

R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization.

And then he meets a girl.

First as his captive, then his reluctant house guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn’t want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

It was okay. It's one of those books that starts of really great an interesting and then becomes a little overdone. 

The power guys showed up tonight around 7 and got my power back on. Now I am nice and warm in bed and plan to enjoy the rest of my 4 day weekend!

How much teachers SHOULD be getting paid

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how I can supplement my income due to the fact that teaching really isn’t a lucrative profession. After much thought I have decided that I think that the school board should compensate me for services rendered. Out of the kindness of my own heart I have come to the conclusion that I won’t calculate delinquent charges and start fresh tomorrow.

Here are the things I am going to begin pie charting:

Bill for Services Rendered Key

Meetings:
Faculty meetings less than or equal to (1/2 hour)
$100

Faculty meetings longer than (1/2 hour)
$200 each extra half hour

Every word read off a hand out or PowerPoint Presentation (FYI: this is called time suckage and insulting*)
$250 dollars per word

Professional Development on something worthwhile+
$250

Professional Development on something worthless+
$1,000

Meeting during class period
$50

Meeting during planning period
$650

Parents:

Phone call to parents/guardians (standard call)
$5.99 Per Minute

Phone call to parents/ guardians (belligerent phone call*)
$299.99 (flat fee!)

Meeting with parent in person (standard)
$9.99 per minute

Meeting with parent in person (belligerent*)
$500 (flat fee!)

If a parent says, “You’re not even old enough to be a teacher!”
$35

Students:
Eating in the cafeteria with the students
$100 a day
-OR-
$50,000 flat rate
(You choose!!!)

Attending an assembly, rally, or student meeting during class time
$69.95

Attending an assembly, rally, or student meeting during planning period
$349.75

Student Fee
$10 a day times (x) number of students in classroom

Student transfer fee- From another teacher
$400

Student transfer fee- From another school
$800

If a student is rude (Facial expression) *+
$199 per incident

If a student is rude (Hand Gesture) *+
$295

If a student is rude (Body Language) *+
$350

If a student is rude (Noise) *+
$150

If a student is rude (Using his words) *+
$550

If a student is threatening *+
$2230.15

If a student whines
$50 first whine
$125 each additional whine

If a student steals a pencil
$1.25

If a student steals a pen
$2.75

Issuing a standardized test to a student
$120 per test + $75 per student

Field Trips:
Well planned field trip (less than or equal to 25 students)
$50

Well planned field trip (less than or equal to 50 students)
$100

Well planned field trip (less than or equal to 100 students)
$150

Well planned field trip (Every student over 100)
$50

Poorly planned field trip (less than or equal to 25 students)
$275

Poorly planned field trip (less than or equal to 50 students)
$350

Poorly planned field trip (less than or equal to 100 students)
$500

Poorly planned field trip (Every student over 100)
$75

Field trip from Hell+ (any number of students)
$5,000

Miscellaneous:
Chalk on clothing
$50 per chalking

Stepping in gum
$149.95

Inability to go to the bathroom as needed
$93.95

Inability to control the temperature of one’s classroom+
$12.95 per degree past or below comfortable- times (x) the number of minutes it is deemed uncomfortable

Being interrupted by the main office intercom
$29.99 per interruption

Being placed next to a loud or irresponsible teacher
$3,500

Being placed next to two or MORE loud or irresponsible teachers
$15,000

Reading emails from administrators
$40 an email

Surprise observations
$25

Surprise observations at 3:00pm on a Friday Afternoon
$525

Pain and Suffering:
Moments that are contain additional pain and suffering will be an extra charge on top of your original fee
$8,564

Footnote-
*indicates moments in which pain and suffering could come into play
+indicates when it is up to the teacher’s discretion to determine whether the incident requires compensation

Note: I will accept all major credit cards

All in all I think that this is an exceptional value!

Don’t you?

Mouse in the House

I was doing some cleanup around my desk today when I opened a drawer and noticed something strange. I had used that drawer to stash some cough drops right before Christmas break, but when I looked in the bag this morning it was mostly just wrappers, no drops. Upon closer inspection I realized that the wrappers and cough drops alike had been chewed on by little teeth. I must have a little furry friend living in my classroom. At least he throat is soothed. 

This got me thinking about when I first started at my school and a small short story I wrote for one of my co-workers about the experience. 

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There’s always room for Jell-O

I got lucky the year I started at my school because there was a group of about ten young teachers that started that year as well. We became fast friends and helped each other out a lot. One of the ways we helped each other out is by getting each other’s classes ready for the start of school. When we got to my friend Emily’s room it was an absolute disaster! There were papers stacked on every conceivable surface, and things shoved into every nook and cranny.

When we opened the cabinets we surmised (and I hope to goodness we were correct) that the room use to be used for Home Economics because we found old moldy plates and bowls, napkins, and plastic cutlery. As we dug into the wreckage we began to find more and more interesting jewels and antiques. One of my favorites was a bunch of Jell-O packets with expiration dates from 1981. The most interesting thing found in the top shelf of one of the cabinets was a petrified mouse body that fell on the floor and made the same noise a beautiful crunchy fall leaf makes when stepped on. We asked around to see if the items, including the mouse, belonged to anyone, but no one claimed the items.

At that point we realized that there was no point in salvaging everything and that everything should just be trashed. Emily called in reinforcements and had five boys from her rescue squad come in. She pulled out industrial sized garbage bags and said “Everything must go!” Eleven trash bags later the room was almost ready for her to begin working.

Six months into the semester one of the other teachers in the school came down to her room and asked if she could get the things she left in the room. Upon being told that everything had been thrown out, the teacher threw a three year old tantrum and stormed out.  I know the phrase is “There is always room for Jell-O” however in this situation that was simply not true. 

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I hope that many years from now, after I have left the school and someone is tasked with cleaning out my classroom they don't find my furry little friend the same way we found the furry little friend in Emily's room!